17 Oct 2010
Spiderweb accumulated inside my blog.....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone4
19 May 2009
Before I was a Mom
Before I was a Mom
Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom ...
13 Apr 2009
Idle
I missed being here..
I missed letting out what’ve bottled up inside me…
I missed how good it feels after grumbling about something that irritates me…
I missed everything that I left here….
but most of all… I missed writing bout Lya… I missed smiling back to what I’ve written bout her… just cant get myself to the thought that I’ve missed writing on how she grows up, and God knows how she grew up soooo fast.. that I’ve missed to ‘record’ it… that I might forget the day every time she makes a new move… … that I just cant look back and read about her bcoz I’ve neglected engraving it somewhere…
10 Feb 2009
Fun @ the Peak...!
Lya naik elephant...!

Careful, Lya....
4 Feb 2009
Paintball @ The Woods


The battle field......
Team mate + opponents... good game, guys...

Kitorang menang woooo... tak caya tengok score team BANZAI tu haaa....
after main kat field, diorg main dlm hutan pulak.. lagi le mencabar agaknye, but kitorg tak join since cik Lya dah tunggu mummy & daddy dia, nak mandi sungai... sampai biru2 bibir budak sorg tu mandi kat ulu yam... tapi takmo naik jugak..... will upload photos of Lya later....
23 Jan 2009
Should I or Shouldn't I?
I’ve been using my Medela Mini Electric Plus for about one year now… Well it’s not actually mine.. its my sister’s… And it served me well for the past one year.. I was able to pump at work twice a day, without consuming much time (well, it’s a double pumping system… that contributes for short time pumping sessions). Overall, I am totally satisfied with it… (except for the irritating noise it makes..) I have sent it for service only once for the whole year.. and my sister has used it for about one year before she passed it to me after Lya’s borned….

Now that she’s expecting her new addition in April.. I’m in dilemma… She needs the pump too… its either I have to stop pumping at work… and just continue to breastfeed Lya only at nights.. (which I’m reluctant to, since she’s only 1 yr 1 month now, and my target is to pump at least until she reaches 2 yrs old) or Should I get another pump? I went to Medela Service Centre in Ampang last week and was totally amazed when I tried this demo set, and from then since, it has become one of items in my wish list… it works and feels exactly like natural baby’s sucking rhythm (Only bf mothers would understand this…!)
I love this...!
"Cemane aa, Lya?"15 Jan 2009
Pray for the Palestinians...
"Ya Allah!! Sebagaimana Engkau Pernah menghantar burung-burung ababil menghancurkan tentera bergajah Musyrikin, maka kami memohon kepada mu Ya Allah....... . turunkan lah bantuan mu kali ini kepada orang orang Islam di Palestin, hancurkanlah rejim zionis..amin. ...."
26 Dec 2008
The breastfeeding incident…
Yesterday, for the 1st time, Lya merajuk with me.. the reason was she bite me during feeding time… and this was the 1st time she bite me that hard…!!! And it was soooo painful, since she already has 4 teeth (2 atas, 2 bawah). Imagine the knife-like pain I had to bear… the moment I was in pain, I screamed, and ‘jentik’ her pipi, to ask her to let go off my nipples….. tak jentik kuat pun.. slow aje… and she cried, and I never see her crying like that before… Sedih sgt bunyinye, sampai tersedu2 and I did everything to stop her from crying. If normal cry, showing her the cat, will shut her off… but yesterday, suma tak jalan… after a while, then only she stopped…
As I knew she was hungry, I tried to breastfeed her again, and it happened again, she bite me, and I automatically screamed her name.. ‘Lyaaaa…..!!!’.. and there she goes again, mcm budak kena marah… sampai tersedu2 and I don’t feel good at all after that… I felt soooooo guilty for ‘yelling’ at her… I didn’t do it intentionally…. Mummy mintak mahap, Lyaaaa….. tak sengajaaa…..
After that I gave her bottle milk… and she finished one whole bottle, and fell to sleep, but I can still hear her ‘sedu sedan’ while sleeping… gosh…. I’m a baaaaaddd mother…I know, I’ve read a lot.. that when a baby started to bite, especially when she already has teeth, don’t be mad, but instead use psychological method, i.e. pujuk her, saying that it is not right to bite…. Mummy will be in pain… bla bla…. But when it happened, you’ll forget everything that you read…. Screaming will be the 1st thing that you’ll do….
But anyhow, I did all he psychological method after that.. I was in trauma, when trying to breastfeed her again, and she bite me again but it was right…! Instead of screaming, I had to hold myself from screaming, and bear the pain, while trying to pujuk he, not to bite.. “Lya budak baik… Lya jgn gigit mummy… Nanti mummy sakit….. Lya ikut ckp Mummy, kan…Lya pandai....” and on and on and on.... and it was a miracle…! She stopped biting after that…!
Haihh… Lya.. Lya…today, the look at her face when she was crying after kena marah, keeps on playing in my head.... Haihh.. cepat la pukul 5..... I wanna go back.. and be wif Lya...
Lya jgn cry centu lagi.... Mummy pulak yg sedeyy....
Daddy
Dear Deboo @ Daddy Lya will be home tomorrow.... cant wait....!!! have a safe trip home, honey....
23 Dec 2008
Kebosanan.....
Ni antara kerja2 mengisi kebosanan.... huahuaa... I missed playing with photoshop... tapi komputer kat umah tu slow gileeeee...... gile pun tak slow centu...
22 Dec 2008
A not so pleasant return trip
Went there wih my bro, Angah... by Air Asia, but I returned to KL alone, since Angah booked the ticket the next day.. (I have no more annual leave, so, I had to come back earlier than the others...!)
So, there I was, yesterday, travelling alone wif Lya... Gosh, how I hate Air Asia....!! No offense.. but to Air Asia, please take this as "kritikan membina".... well, that's y they are are rated as 'low cost'... but it was not only low in costs, but also, pretty 'cheap' in their services...!! I had travelled alone wif Lya, but by Malaysia Airlines, and Japan local airlines and the services were superb... they gave priorities to guests wif children & infant.... but yesterday, the moment I checked in @ Langkawi airport, I started to argue when I requested for ground assistance, and their reply was the assistance only valid for 'OKU' i.e handicapped people... Hello.... am I not considered as 'kurang upaya' at this very moment?? how am I goin to carry my luggages, and at the same time carry Lya, wif my hand luggage? Yes, I have her stroller with me, but with my other 2 luggages, I still have to take the trolley, when I get to LCCT, no?? How am I suppose to push the pram and the trolley together???
The man @ the check in counter couldnt answer, instead he gave "brilliant" suggestion for me to pass my baby to any workers available @ the LCCT while I handle my luggages. God.....!! can they be more ignorant?? Anyhow, I couldnt argue anymore, than I just checked in, and went to the departure hall, when at that time, Lya's already started to get cranky, after the looong queue and waiting during check in... (God.. they are toooooo sloowww...!!)
When Lya's started crying (and screamingg!!) I had to carry her.. (thank god I brought her baby sling).. so, I had to push her pram.. while carrying her @ the same time... while passing thru the security guard at the departure entrance, the guard blindly asked me, "Nape tak letak baby dlm stroller...??" Mak aii... buta kee??? tak nampak ke anak aku tgh nangis2 melalak due to your slow services?? But i just answered " dia taknak.. dia menangis..." and left...
Again, during boarding time, there was the long queue.... they only gave priority to people above 65 yrs old... so, I just stood there, tak sanggup nak beratur lagi.... but luckily, one chinese family were so kind, and gave permission for me & Lya to cut the line... so that I wouldnt be the last person to board the plane...
I had a seat next to an Australian couple who happened to be very friendly, and soooooo helpful.... they helped me handle my backpack (my one and only hand luggage). Lya cried the moment we board the plane, (dia rimas agaknye... org berebut2 mcm naik bas mini kaler pink...!!) Can the guests of Air Asia be more civilised?? At this very moment I wished I were in Japan, where this"berebut-rebut mcm ulat taik" phenomenon does not happen...
An Indian lady next to my aisle seat asked whether I'm travelling alone. (Agaknye dia kesian tgk aku terkapai2 handle Lya yg mengamuk2).... I said yes, and told her how difficult it was to get assistance... She couldnt believe that the assistance is only available for handicapped people.. as she was travelling with her family, she offered me help with my luggage when we arrive @ LCCT. The help I really needed...!!! I know, I shouldnt trust anybody... but anyone who's in my shoe, would be happy if someone offered the help you really needed..! And she seems sooo kind, she was with an old man (maybe his father), her husband, another young lady, and her 2 kids... There's nothing bad she would do, no?
Anyhow... Lya slept in the flight only 15 minutes before touch down.. phewww... i had to read her books & mags, sing to her, played peekaboo.. and do anything that would avoid her from crying.... The plane arrived on time... And luckily the exit from arrival hall, is near to the luggage conveyer. So, I passed Lya to her aunty just outside the gate.. (luckily she arrived on time to pick us up) before I take the luggages, and thanked Hannah (the Indian lady) for the help she offered, before I left..
I just wish that Air Asia would improve their services.. and make it more baby friendly. Hey, Firefly also is a low cost carrier, but from what I see their services are similar to that offered on MAS. Now, looking at their poor services, travelling by Air Asia alone with an infant would the last thing I would do. There. I let it all out already.. Thank god I have a blog.
15 Dec 2008
Double celebration...
Two wonderful years
Twenty four beautiful months
You’ll never know how much you’ve made me happy
For that, thank you soo much…
3 Dec 2008
2 Dec 2008
Lya, Lya...
Ok.. here are some photo updates on her...
24 Nov 2008
'One who fails to plan.. plans to fail...."
'Gagal merancang.. merancang kegagalan' - M Nasir & Malique - Mantera Beradu....
But.... what if what we planned is a total failure....?? Grrrrrrrrrr.....
****************************************************************
I had this 'sinful' lunch to cheer myself up..... Mc D Move It Meal...!! Heavenly tastes of Double McChicken could lit up somebody's day.... yupp.... am gonna be fat fat fat...

21 Nov 2008
New countdown begins....
I have a new countdown...!! ngeeee........

19 Nov 2008
Another BF story....
Well, when I first got pregnant, I’ve equipped myself with breastfeeding knowledge… but deep inside, I’ve always thought that BF is a natural thing between a mother and a baby… a “plug n play” thingy.. easy….
WRONG!!!
Breastfeeding is a learning process between a mother and a baby.. and it requires a lot.. and I mean A LOTTTT of effort…… and that is why I truthfully respect mothers who could BF their babies up tilll 2 years.. or more… not to mention who successfully EXCLUSIVELY BF … lagi la haku tabik…
Dalam surat Al Baqarah [2]: 233 disebutkan, "Para ibu hendaklah menyusukan anak-anaknya selama dua tahun penuh, yaitu bagi yang ingin menyempurnakan penyusuan."
I would say I felt pity to the babies who did not get from their mothers.. Personally I would feel less motherly if I don’t give the best to my baby… and it is really heart breaking when some of the mothers “decided” not to BF their babies, even b4 the baby is borned.. no offence, anybody… unless there’s a great excuse not to BF a baby, then I would 100% support working mothers to exclusively BF their babies.. and that’s the main reason why the request for a lactation room in MI*C came up… (thank you ayang who gave full support on this…!! *_* )
I’ve personally heard a lot of.. I’d say…”unacceptable” excuses not to BF… These 3 are the most frequent one…
-“sakit….”
-“leceh”
-“takde tempat nak perah”
I don’t say BF for me is easy… I cried when the midwife massaged me, since the milk wont came out in the 1st week of confinement….I had blisters on my nipples when I just started… Bleeding… Kulit terkopek2… Can you imagine how painful it was… And I was always in tears when Lya started to suck my milk… and I was stomping my feet when she’s sucking on them, and I cried… It was that painful… But it gets easier in time….
When Lya was 3 months old, she refused to be BF when I came back for a 2 days outstation, because my milk supply decreased tremendously.. My MIL kept asking me to give her formula milk… since Lya was continuously crying.. and she couldnt bear to let her cried... but I chose to be “temporary deaf”.. I just listened to Along, instead… I let Lya cried because I know if I stop BF her.. then my milk would decrease more.. and it would be permanently stop… That was what Along experienced.. and mind you.. she had 4 children, and the 4th child is the one that she’s successful of exclusive BF…
I became known to hotel workers when I attended a 2 days course, just because I asked to store my milk in hotel’s refrigerator during the 2 days duration course… (I brought my ice pack… but I felt more confidence the milk is not contaminated when they are kept in a freezer rather than in my cooling bag)
I became known to the office where I attended a 1 week course in Singapore.. when I requested a place to pump out my milk… and a place to store them…
I pumped out my milk, whenever I can, at the aiport, even at my seat in a flight back to KL, when the flight was delayed, and my breast became engorged and painful.. I did that because once I skip a session, the result would be.. my milk supply started to decrease again.. and it takes time to ‘recover’…The airport workers were confused when I brought milk stock but there was no baby.. took me a while to explain to them…
I ate everything that could increase my milk supply… and at one time, I became gemuk gile.. hahaaa.. now I’m still gemuk.. but hey… I managed to lost few kgs last ramadhan.. without affecting my milk supply…! Hehehe…. But now I think I’m gaining back.. haha…
I brought my pumping equipment bag ke hulu ke hilir at the office twice a day.. and being called as ‘beg pramugari’…. Lantaklah…..
Those are few of my breastfeeding experience…. I am no expert in BF.. learning.. still and always am….. thank you to my friends.. (esp Ati.. & Neny.. ) whom always be my friends in need when it comes to BF.. hehehe..
Oh wow.. turned out this was a lil bit long entry… It’s 2 o’clock now.. gtg…
Oh.. here's a pix of our lactation room.. a small one.. but hey.. this is just a start... as long as it has all that a nursing mother requires.. especially a sink and a referigerator.. it is okay... yup.. just okay...
17 Nov 2008
Happy 11 months old, Lya Qaisara
It has been a while since I talked on her milestones… well, here goes..
- She can walk…!!! Since she was at 10 months old..last weekend, I counted her steps… 25 steps without fall…!! Yippie… good gurll….
- Sukeeee tunjuk perasaan.. Oh, God.. sometimes she could really got into my nerve.. I categorized myself as really patience while handling a baby… or more to handling an ‘infant’…… but ‘toddlerhood zone’ is the time when your patience is really tested, okeh….… You’ll know the true feelings if you have one..!
- Shows what she wants with gestures.. She’s the boss to everyone at home…! She’ll just point her fingers where/what she wants and she’ll get them..
- She’s a chatterbox..! and the most frequent word is ‘tat’… means ‘cat’…. ‘dede’ means ‘daddy’…. Bila nak pandai sebut mummy ni Lya…??
- Still breastfed.. although not exclusively, but most of milk that she takes is mummy’s milk..
These are photos on her 11th months bday... muke bosan sgt at umah, so I brought her to Toys 'r' us.. This lil cutie taknak balik pulak since dah syiok sgt main... adehhh... she was screaming in the middle of people... and people were staring at me mcm aku tak reti jaga anak... adehhh.. i had to bribe her with one toy... but she refused to let me take it to the cashier to pay... Lya.. Lya...
Macam kelakar je Lya pakai skirt... tak sesuaiiii...

12 Nov 2008
Another sleepless night...
Finally she slept again @ about 4:30a.m….. As I tucked her in.. found myself in tears.. God knows why.. but it feels much better after that…
Hate emotional entry like this… oh well…
Something's hidden inside.....
I guess I ‘needed’ it rather than ‘wanted’ it sooo much….. But it is time anyway.. it has been 3 and ½ years since used the previous one…
2 Nov 2008
Lya's new ride....

the great thing is... this infant walker could turn into a toddler ride... I just love any 2 in 1 thingy...
As usual, Lya ala2 jakun when we asked her to walk with it.... siap nangis2 lagik.. after a while, she was almost an expert.. hahaa... almost....
31 Oct 2008
It's Friday...!! Yeay!!
I was just about to enter Toys 'r' us, but suddenly i redirected myself to Madam Kwan's just next to the entrance of TrUs... and had a seat all alone by myself... without even looking at the menu, I called the waitress and ordered ice lemon tea and..... this.....!!!!
Nasi Bojari Madam Kwan's
It was not more than 5 minutes later, my order arrived.. and I finished the whole lot of it in less than 10 minutes!!!... OMG... it was so darn delicious... Thank you ayang who introduced me to it last fasting month...... and there goes my diet, ye puan2...oh well.... lantak lah.. sedap gile, okeh...
Will definitely have lunch there again... huhuuu....
29 Oct 2008
Tiring weekend.....
To all who managed to come, thank you soooooo much..... I apologize for not being able to fully entertain all of you since Lya was cranky bcoz of the flu and fever.. at 10 months old, this was the 1st time she had flu with fever... and it was a tough one. she wanted to be cuddled all the time.. and she doesnt want anybody else to dukung her except meeeeee...... naik patah pinggang dibuatnye... plus i, myself was not feeling well.....
yesterday, i brought her to see her paed @ DEMC since we already went to SU clinic twice, but still the fever keep coming back every 4 hours after i gave her medicine.... she had a blood test but luckily she is free from 'denggi'. but paed said there could have been virus infections which caused her fever, so she was given antibiotic and until today, she's still on them.... today, she's still having her flu. but alhamdulillah no fever... i had few sleepless nights since i had to check her temperature every hour, and keep her temperature down by applying wet towels on her head and her entire tiny body.. kesian sgt tgk anak mummy sorang nih....
And 2 cute budlets just appeared... kiut gile okeh... and it was sooo painful since she loves to bite during feeding time... sakit woo...
Lya jgn demam2 lagi, okeh... I know, I went 'unstable' and easily yelled at people when she's sick.... and at certain time, almost cried... I was just sooooo terribly worrieeeddd and terrifiiieeed, especially when her daddy's not around.... oh well....
24 Oct 2008
Almost completed.... Yeayy!










Penat la mummy...